Reply To: The recent "discovery" of Dark Matter

[Brian H]

The Idiocy of Green Authoritarianism:

Working in a Green Certified Building

Apparently working in a certified “Green Building” might not be all that fun:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/
content/article/2010/04/29/AR2010042905052.html

No word on strawberries

About 100 or so lawyers at the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission are in the midst of a move and will become the first tenants in a new building a couple of blocks down from the headquarters on First Street NE. Since FERC regulates electricity, natural gas and oil transmission, the commission appears most anxious that its offices meet the independent U.S. Green Building Council’s certification standards.

“FERC is subject to unannounced inspections at any time to ensure that all” the standards are met, a move notice explained, so the office site must be “clean and orderly all day, every day.” Deviation “from the plan to reduce paper waste and personal items,” the instructions say, “will risk our . . . certification.”

They assume, correctly, that lawyers are highly skilled deviators, so the “Move Do’s and Don’ts Guide” is specific: “Prohibited items: Air Purifiers; clock radios and docking stations; coffee grinders; coffee makers; fans of any size; heaters of any size; humidifiers of any size; lamps of any kind; microwaves; personally owned printers; refrigerators; tea pots of any size; toasters; water coolers.”

You’re advised not to take personal books and documents with you on the move. And forget about the plants.

“Foliage will be strictly monitored within the [new] space due to requirements stipulated by the level of . . . certification,” the instruction says. But a “reasonable amount of small plants are permitted on window sills. Plants are not permitted in common use spaces such as the reception areas.” Take home “excess plants.” (Loop warning: Small plants have a tendency to grow. You’ll want to keep the pruners handy.)

Also, we’re told there’ll be no electric pencil sharpeners. Switch to mechanical pencils, or maybe bring a small knife to whittle a decent point. “No electronic tea makers will be allowed, tea can be made utilizing water and the microwaves provided.” By implication, you’re allowed a cup and maybe a saucer, possibly some sugar.

And a long tradition of gathering to gossip at the water cooler is over. “No water coolers will be allowed” in the new space, the guide says, because of certification standards. But “each [approved] refrigerator is equipped with a filtered water spout on the inside to resolve this issue.”

So, as soon as that formaldehyde-like smell dissipates, let’s meet by the fridge?

Karl

Fortunately FF will render all of that irrelevant.

But the building will be a true monument to the demented evil of self-righteous bureaucracy, while it lasts.